Belaboring the Obvious

Sunday, August 13, 2006

This Week's Bozo....

If you want to play with the neo-cons, you have to get suited up.

There's always a crowded field for the honor (so many idiots, so little time). But, who gets to wake up in the clown suit, the floppy shoes and the big, red nose?

  • Dick Cheney: Yes, he phoned reporters from his undisclosed location and uttered a now-familiar theme--Democrats are terrorist-loving scum. But, for Cheney, this is just business as usual. When he finally gets limber enough for fellating himself, we'll hear less from him. He's working on it.
  • George Bush: See Cheney above. Except that Bush has likely perfected the self-fellating part. What do you think he's been doing with all that vacation time, after all? You know, by now, this is all about him.
  • Joe Lieberman: Joe is certainly beginning to sound a lot like his friends (well, it's worked politically for them so far). His latest on the morning talk shows: "If we just pick up as Ned Lamont wants us to do and get out by a date certain, it will be taken as a tremendous victory by the same people who wanted to blow up these planes in this plot hatched in England, and it will strengthen them and they will strike us again." Well, Joe, when your country's fiends-in-charge and their only fucking friend invade another country, militarily occupy it for three and a half years, steal their money, try to put the bite on their only source of income, describe their religion as a world scourge and induce civil war because you're absolutely fucking clueless, people tend to get upset. Joe's got a very bad case of divided loyalties, in any number of ways, but he's just hopeless and hapless. Not even clown material.
  • Michelle Malkin: Doesn't need another clown suit. Has a closet full of `em.
  • Alan Dershowitz: Nope. But, given his recent remarks, he might be looking at a fitting for different kind of suit.
  • Bill Kristol: By Jove, I think this fellow has the makings of a first-rate Bozo. To wit:

WALLACE: Bill, after the events of this week--and I know you’re not going to like this question--but can you argue that the working class neighborhoods in Britain are a bigger threat to the United States than what happens in Baghdad?

KRISTOL: No. Look, there are lots of threats. It is a global war. The Bush administration, I think, is deeply correct about this. And what you do on one front affects what happens on the other front. Cheney’s statement is indisputably correct. It doesn’t mean that Ned Lamont likes al Qaeda or wants al Qaeda to win. But the notion that a retreat in Iraq would not embolden terrorists elsewhere in the Middle East, and terror recruiters in the suburbs of London, is ludicrous. Of course it would. Now, if you want to say we should get out of Iraq anyway because we can’t win and this is the price we have to pay, fine. But it’s just factually true that our pulling out of Iraq will be bad for us in the global war on terror.

Saying that Dick Cheney is "indisputably correct" on anything is a bit like saying that Wrong Way Corrigan was an ace navigator. Or that the Titanic still is indestructable. Or that the Edsel was Ford's best idea ever. That George W. Bush is a Middle Eastern scholar. That Jeffrey Dahmer was a vegetarian. Just ain't true, and after listening to Cheney mumble on for years now, ascribing truth to long-disproved lies, it's positively hilarious that Kristol once again jumps into the rhetorical fray in a vain attempt to salvage Cheney's non-existent reputation for veracity (and his and Newtie's hopes for WWIII).

Beyond that, Kristol is doing his damnedest to hike up his skirts and sashay around the fact that Cheney was, indeed, doing his best to make political hay of Lamont's primary victory by juxtaposing that win and a "loss" in the war on terra, just as Cheney (and Kristol) have tried to juxtapose Iraq and all terrorist activity in the world. That's what's known as starting from a false premise, and it's such an old rhetorical trick that it's funny.

And, that, folks, is real clown material--being so stupid that it's silly and entertaining. Here's your clown suit, Bill, and, hey, you've kind of got the face for it:


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